


Winds Change, And So Do I

by RiriRules4Ever



Category: Naruto
Genre: Akatsuki Hatake Kakashi, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark, Gen, Good Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Heavy Angst, Manipulation, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow To Update, Warnings May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 12:17:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21338116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RiriRules4Ever/pseuds/RiriRules4Ever
Summary: What if instead of Obito dying at Kannabi Bridge, Kakashi was the one who died? In this story, i plan to write how i believe things would go, and fix some mistakes from the canon.---------------This was originally a Oneshot.. so.. yeah.. it kind of got out of hand XDSo, this is basically a 'rewrite' of Obito's story, but instead of Obito being the one 'dying' in Kannabi Bridge mission, it's Kakashi.It was really fun writing this, so i hope whoever reads this, enjoys the story!
Comments: 30
Kudos: 96





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Friendly reminder that my first language isn't english, so there might be a few mistakes. 
> 
> If there is anything wrong don't hesitate to tell me! Enjoy ^^

The only thing Kakashi felt when consciousness returned to him was pain. Unbearable, yet so familiar pain. He tried opening his left eye, but to no avail. It was bandaged, and made a good job of being an absolute bother. Out of nowhere, a crushing sensation in Kakashi’s whole body made itself known. His subconscious told him it was pain.

He tried identifying the reason his body ached so much. The reason everything hurt, the reason he was on the floor with what seemed like a freaking rock on top of him, the reason he was bleeding out, the reason he felt so much pain, so many-

Kakashi tried to evade those thoughts, and attempted to move his head to both sides, managing little but more pain in the process. He heard groans of tiredness next to himself, and tilted his head towards them. Rin and.. Obito? Oh. Right. The mission. Kannabi Bridge. His eye. Damn it! How could he forget? The mission! He was supposed to head back and give a report! But how could he do so when he could barely move his eyes without an overwhelming pain taking over his body? Scratch that, he couldn’t even see!

The agony in his body brought Kakashi back from his almost faded consciousness. He wasn’t going back to Konoha. He was damn lucky he was still alive, and even that wouldn’t last long. In fact, he was pretty sure he should be dead by that point. 

He remembered his feeling from before. Right. If his senses were not betraying him, Rin and Obito should be nearby. He tried speaking, but all that came from his dry mouth were a few empty gasps. He opened his mouth again, and after a few tries, managed a bare whisper.

“Are you okay.. Rin.. Obito..?”

Suddenly, one of his teammates reacted, and started crawling towards him. Probably Obito, due to his clumsy movements. 

“K-Kakashi!”

He felt Obito try to move the boulder, but he seemed to give up after some seconds. After all, even if he could move it, he wasn’t in the condition to do so. He kneeled over Kakashi, and remained there for a long while.

“Don’t… Obito. It’s okay..”

After saying that, everything became still. More so than before. The only sounds he heard were the remaining rocks that fell through the barely-upright ceiling, and the gasps for breath from both his teammates. 

However, after a short while of hearing that, he heard a sniffling and.. weeping? Rin also appeared to have woken, and was crying, probably somewhere to his left. Obito, distinctive by his loud sobbing, kicked and punched the floor, mumbling incomprensible things. Curses. Saying it was his fault, or some crap like that. 

“Hey, Rin.. Obito... you need to go..”

His teammate’s both gasped at the sound of Kakashi’s voice. It was strained and it pained him to even open his mouth, but he did it anyways. He could barely feel anything at that point.Besides, he would die anyways, and if he did, he preferred to do so by saving his friends.

“There is no way i'm leaving you here!”

“You don’t have a choice! I'm gonna die here, and.. and you are gonna leave! That’s just the way it is.”

After saying that, Obito remained silent, but didn’t move. Kakashi innerly cursed at himself. Of course the bastard wouldn’t leave the place, doing his grand hero act. But what Obito failed to realise, was that the situation didn’t leave room for decisions; It was either leave or die. There was no third option.

“Listen, Obi-

“I’ll go”

Kakashi, too tired to even question if he was speaking seriously, closed his mouth and waited expectantly for them to leave. They didn’t.

“I'll leave.. on one condition”

Kakashi sighed, but knowing Obito wouldn’t waver, nodded. Whatever he wanted to do, he hoped wouldn’t be too difficult; Besides, they didn’t have time to start fighting about a matter that could be solved as easily in only a few seconds.

“What is it?”

“Your gift for becoming a jonin”

“O-Obito! We don’t have time for this!”

“My eye. I want you to have my eye”

\--------------------

He remembered… a gift.

A gift from a friend.. and..

A promise.

“Obito.. promise me.. you won’t let.. anyone else die... for any reason..”

“I won’t, Kakashi”

Then.. there was shouting… and then.. everything went black. 

Kakashi smiled despite de pain, and embraced his upcoming destiny with what he suspected were his dying breaths.

They weren’t.

\--------------------

Kakashi woke up later in a cave, with no memory of how he had arrived there. Rightfully so, because as soon as he made a move to stand up, his body groaned in pain and he was forced to go back to his initial position. 

He looked around, trying to identify the place. The cave was huge, to say the least, and from his position he wasn’t able to see the end of it. Or maybe his vision was just bad. After examining the “room”, he realised he was in a bed, next to what seemed be the entrance. However, he later realised it was sealed with what resembled a huge rock.

After trying to test his arms and legs, he came to the conclusion that he was missing an arm. Which made sense, considering he had been crushed by a huge rock. Actually, why was still alive? What had happened to Rin and Obito? 

A deep voice took him out of his thoughts, and made him look at the place it came from. An old man with white hair was sitting on a chair, looking at him with a severe expression. He had some white tubes connecting his back to a.. statue? He gave it a quick glance to confirm his suspicions. Yes, a huge wooden statue. 

“It seems you have finally awoken. I was starting to wonder if you were really dead”

Who the hell was that old guy..? Did he save him? He didn’t seem to be in the condition to do something like that, so there was no way he had saved him. Maybe a co-worker? But there wasn’t anyone else, and there didn’t seem to be an exit from where he could go in and out.

Even if he could, why would he save Kakashi anyways? What could he possibly be worth? That’s right, nothing. This man wouldn’t have saved him if he wasn’t certain he would achieve something in return. He wanted something from Kakashi, he needed him. 

(He definitely had to be careful around this man.)

“Where am i? How did you find me?”

“You are in a “hiding” place of mine. I found you in one of my passages, almost near death. You should be grateful”

A hiding place? Well, that was certainly descriptive. He found himself hesitating to ask more questions, opening and closing his mouth many times, but without uttering a word. The old geezer had an aura.. it made him weary. He finally made his mind, and asked the question he most dreaded to ask. 

“Who are you?”

“I’m Madara Uchiha.”

He stared dumbfounded for a few seconds, before digesting what he had just been told. Right. So, this man apparently thought him stupid. Maybe he had actually been overthinking things a while earlier, since the guy had been as bold as to assume he would just believe whatever words came out of his mouth. Madara Uchiha? The first Hokage’s rival? Sure!

“You know, lying isn’t a nice thing to do”

He stared at his eyes, and found a sharingan. Of course. Well, at least the person behind all this had some sense of self-preservation and actually got a sharingan before trapping him with this mad old geezer. He would have thought the white haired man the one responsible for his unexpected awakening at the cave, but hearing him say his name was “Madara Uchiha” completely destroyed his suspicions.

“Whether you believe me or not doesn’t change anything. You are still alive, and that’s my doing. So i expect you to repay your debt”

Owe him? Repay a debt? He had never asked for anyone to save him! In fact, he had expected to die! 

“What could you possibly need from the likes of me? I’ve got nothing special that separates me from any other ninja”

The man’s eyebrows furrowed, and his frown deepened even more, if that was even possible.

“If you think i chose you for personal taste, you are wrong. You just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time. There was nothing personal in this”

What did he mean by “choosing”? Did he had more people to choose from? What plan did this person have in mind, and what role did Kakashi fulfill in it? 

“I’ll assume you won’t let me go back to Konoha once i’m able to do so, right?”

“The Leaf Village, hmm? You think they can bring you happiness? Fulfill your dreams and end your pain?”

Just what was this man seeking to accomplish?

“No.. no they can’t. But i can. That’s why i need you. To sever the fate of this world. A world of only peace.. a world of only love. I will create such a world”

Kakashi stayed only silent. It was no use debating with this guy. He was as resolved as a four year old child, and even that was above his level. No amount of debating was going to shut him up, so he’d better sit down and wait for his speech to be over.

“Ninjas are just tools. You recently proved that, by saving your comrades at cost of your life. Shinobi are tools, controlled by the higher ups. You’ll see soon, that saving your friends one time is worth nothing when in war” He stopped to gather some air, and then went on “Soon another threat will arise, and you will not be there to save them, so someone else will have to take the role. That’s just the way it is. You think they value you for being a ninja and having the ‘Will of fire’? Lies. It’s all lies. You are just another deceased shinobi from the pile”

“There is no individuality in the shinobi world. It’s all just about serving your so-called-nation. But, what did the Leaf Village ever do for you? You are just another peon in the plans they have for the future. Your friends are. Everyone is. Your father was”

At that, Kakashi’s eyes widened. How did that bastard know about his father? That wasn’t something Leaf Shinobi spoke about publicly. After all, Sakumo Hatake was considered a failure. A shame to the shinobi. Why? For saving the life of his comrades? For protecting Leaf Shinobi?

Was.. was Kakashi also considered trash for choosing his comrades over his mission? Was he also a failure, just like his father? Was he already being forgotten by his comrades, who resented him for his decision?

Kakashi heard a quiet laugh coming from Madara. “Yes. What your father did is no secret. A pity, really. That’s why i want to share my goals with you. You know the pain of losing a close person. You know what it is like to be in that swallowing darkness, all on your own, with no hope of escaping. However.. In the world i will create, there will not be any need for that. No one will die, no one will be forgotten…” 

“Peace. My goal is eternal peace”

After a short silence, Kakashi shot a glance at Madara, and saw him sleeping. He fell back from his sitting position and stared at the ceiling. For the rest of the night, all he could think about was Madara’s words.


	2. I'm surrounded by idiots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Okay, this definetively took some time, but I finally finished it! 
> 
> Merry Christmas, and enjoy the chapter!

Kakashi had gotten used to being alone. Madara always slept, so Kakashi had no company whatsoever. That is, until he was dragged away from it by a voice; He nudged his head in the process, relieved that finally someone else was there. 

“Hey there”

He moved half his body so he could sit, and saw two white people. Emphasis on the word “people”. They were two white guys. Their body was made of a white substance (He still didn’t know what), and one of the two had green hair. The one with hair looked like a plant, and the other didn’t even have a face. He had a sort of ‘spiral circle’ thing around his one and only left eye socket. 

The first time he had seen them, he had been scared shittless. Of course he didn’t show it, but he had freaked out to the point he had questioned his sanity. Then again, it wouldn’t be weird if he did, considering he had been stuck in a cave for who knows how long.

They seemed like a friendly bunch, but Kakashi didn't trust them. 

They could apparently walk through walls, and leave the cave. He had asked them once, if he could also leave, and of course their answer had been ‘no’. There were many clones of them, but they were almost never there. Said they were, ‘gathering intel’. Seemed like crap to Kakashi, but, what did he know? 

“How are you doing?”

“Oh, you know, i'm just fine! Just got crushed in half by a rock, but that’s besides the point!”

They were nerve wrecking, that’s for sure. He sighed before speaking again.

“How long have i been here?”

As he said that, Kakashi settled on ignoring the two others. He lay down on the bed, and stared at the ceiling in hopes of achieving his well deserved peace once again. 

“Don’t worry. It’s not like you need to pay rent or something.” 

“Those of us created by the Gedo Statue don’t have to eat either. No food bills, no need for a bathroom. We don’t even poop!”

The swirly one had a knack for annoying people with his mere presence, and he was starting to irritate Kakashi. And even though he had barely said anything, he could already feel his patience coming to an end. Between his high pitched voice, and the stupid words coming from his mouth, he couldn’t pick the worst one. Still, he’d learnt to “deal” with them during the time he had spent in the cave. 

“And thanks to the implant, you can survive without drinking or eating. In fact, you should be grateful and thank us.”

There we're a few seconds of silence in which Kakashi held his breath, hoping they would finally shut up, only to be left disappointed yet again. 

“I don't know how you even manage with that body… I mean, we are clearly superior to you, humans! We have feelings and everything! You may have a better sense of humor, but what we have is much better! Both our vocabulary skills and mental acuity are far higher than yours!”

After giving his emotive speech, swirly-guy hesitated for a few seconds, and then spoke again. However, this time giving less of a speech, but more like a small complain.

“But… we don’t poop..”

Kakashi’s eyes landed on Madara’s body, hoping he was awake so that the two white bastards would let him be. Madara was often sleeping, and almost never spoke when he was awake, but his presence was enough to make the iconic duo stop bothering him. Unfortunately for Kakashi, Madara was asleep and likely not to wake up for a long while. Damn it.

“Okay, so, explain how you are, somehow, at a higher level than me?”

For a few seconds, he thought they wouldn’t answer, but after seeing them stare at each other with a mischievous look in their eyes, he knew for certain he was wrong.

“We are..”

“The ones...”

“-In charge of watching you!”

“-In charge of watching you!”

Kakashi almost facepalmed. Then he remembered he couldn’t move without his body hurting, and decided to ignore them. They were just a bunch of idiots. Useful idiots, at that. However, he couldn't keep his mouth shut, despite already knowing his attempts at silence would be futile. 

”Could you please shut the hell up! You are driving me insane!”

“Listen, we are only helping you with your rehab because Madara ordered us to get you up and running and usable by the time he gets up.”

So, his suspicions were right. Madara actually wanted to use him for a purpose. Probably a wicked one, that included many deaths and unnecessary suffering. So he needed to leave that place. How? He didn’t know, but he had to leave.

“Where’s the exit?”

“Hmmm.. Madara sealed it off with a huge boulder after we lugged you here on his orders”

The aloe-vera (Yes, that was his new name, he didn't know how to call him otherwise) hesitated a little before continuing, and turned to look at Kakashi.

“By the way, you’ve been mumbling things in your sleep. Couldn’t catch anything you said, but I just wondered if that's supposed to be normal”

Oh well, there went his dignity. And his privacy. 

“Yeah, yeah.. that’s right.. every so often he would say some stuff..”

“Oh, and what’s a-”

“Don’t you dare say another word! I’m done with you! ”

“Jeez… what a temper”

The place went quiet for a short while, besides the white guys’ muttering. It was almost peaceful. Almost. He returned to his task of staring at the ceiling, but as soon as he started, he was interrupted by the-guy-with-no-face with one of his retard questions.

“Umm, hey! Can i ask you a question?”

“I thought I had been clear enough!”

“You don't get it, this is important!”

“... Go on”

“When nature calls.. in short, what does the urge to poop feel like?”

It was moments such as that, that made Kakashi question his very existence. 

“What’s with your obsession with poop!?” He then pointed at the-guy-with-no-face with an accusing finger “You don’t poop, but for some questionable the reason, you like poop! Why?! You're disgusting!” 

Maybe after that they would finally shut up and let hi-

“But… you didn’t answer my question!”

“SHUT UP”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure how I wanted to make Kakashi and Zetsu's interactions, which is probably the reason this took so long. It was really fun to write, so hope you enjoyed! Next chapter is almost finished, so expect it to cone around in a short time. 
> 
> If there is any mistake, or anything else you want to point out, write in the comment section ^^


	3. I'm in hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so, remember that one time i spoke about updating whithin a week? Well, i LIED!
> 
> Turns out, life is a bitch, so get this random chapter and have fun :D
> 
> Also, beware the angst train.

Kakashi still wasn't sure how much time had passed anymore. All he knew was that lot’s of time had passed since the incident at Kannabi Bridge. And with “Lot’s” he meant at least a year. 

However, he was doing pretty great. He could already walk and use his right arm to perfection. He was still practising, but it got better every day.

Turns out the two white guys were called Zetsu’s. They helped him train and get used to his new arm. Up to then, they had done nothing suspicious, so he had had no reason to distrust them.

After a small session of training, he threw his body over his bed. The image of his team, on the back of his mind, was strong. He couldn’t wait to meet them again. He smiled, completely ignorant to the world around him.

Satisfied with himself, Kakashi settled to go to sleep. He was tired. But a loud voice destroyed any of his hopes about getting his so desired nap. 

Guess he’d have to wait a bit longer.

“I just came back from outside! Kakashi! Your friends, Rin and Stupid-Obito, are in trouble!” 

Obito? Rin? In trouble? He sat on the bed, and panicked. 

Nonononono.. this couldn’t be happening.. not after everything…

Somehow, Kakashi managed to get ahold of himself before panic took over and he made rash decisions. Experience told him it wasn’t a good idea to let it take over, especially in a compromising situation like this.

He took a deep breath before asking the awaited question.

“What happened?”

“They’re alone and completely surrounded by Hidden Mist shinobi! They’ve thankfully managed to stall them, but they won’t manage for long on their own!”

As soon as he heard that, his features paled more, if that were even possible, and his eyes widened. He felt the previous submissive panic burst inside of himself, and his mind began thinking of possible outcomes for the situation.

His vision came across the giant boulder that sealed the entrance into the cave, and suddenly an idea sparked inside of his head.

“Considering you came all the way to warn me about this, i’ll assume you have a plan?”

“Ahh, smart as always, Kakashi! You always manage to surprise me, even in the most unexpected situations…”

Suddenly, he felt something surrounding his whole body. Kakashi watched as the spiral Zetsu opened himself, and showed an empty inside. He slowly moved, and covered every part of Kakashi, until he reached his face. 

“Quit the complementing and help me get rid of this damn boulder!

The spiral creature chuckled before covering Kakashi’s face completely, to avoid any damage getting to his face.

With that done, he felt his arms radiating with a new kind of strength. He stood up from the bed, and walked towards the exit, before punching it with one arm. 

Slowly, he saw cracks expanding themselves throughout the boulder, until it exploded, full of energy.

Just as he was about to leave, Madara’s deep and tired voice echoed throughout the room. 

“So you’re finally going”

Madara’s words were not a question, but an affirmation. Kakashi grabbed the white tube that connected spiral Zetsu to the Gedo Statue, and destroyed it with his right hand. 

He was just one step away from freedom.

“One way or another, i knew it would play out this way”

“Listen old man, i’m grateful that you saved me, but i have to go”

“You shouldn’t be hasty in thanking me. It might be a little too early for that”

“I’m not gonna come back here. You already have my thanks”

“I suppose there’s no stopping you then? Alright. Do as you will. Just know that you are always welcome here”

The last bit was filled with a kindness Kakashi was too afraid to think much about. Madara was as shady as they came, and he was very much willing to leave all his past there behind. 

And yet… the way he knowingly smiled at the end sent shivers down his spine. 

He finally decided to give his back to the one eyed fellow, and settled on going for Rin and Obito. He’d wasted enough time discussing useless matters with him.

“Take me to where they are”

“As you wish…”

Without another word, Kakashi’s body began moving on it’s own. He let it work that way, knowing it was useless to fight against Zetsu. It was best to leave him at the front wheel.

He left through the front door, and saw a small room filled with capes and different types of weapons. He grabbed one of the blue capes, and left running. 

Once he was outside, his body began running towards towards the location in which Zetsu claimed Obito and Rin were.

“According to the others, it looks pretty bad. They’re talking about some Hidden Mist test subjects, but i don’t really understand what they mean by that”

Test subjects? What was he even talking about? He needed context, god damn it!

“Anyway, it seems Obito and Rin are completely surrounded, and they’re saying they all seem to be Jonin or Black Ops. Your friends apparently have a death wish! Who would've known?”

Well, fuck. They couldn’t pick a better situation to put themselves in, right? No, they just had to pick the worst end escenario, and hand it to him! How was he supposed to take care of this? He was all alone, and no, Zetsu didn’t count. “Where is Minato-Sensei?” With any luck, he may be in the vicinity, and he could ask him for help.

“Who?”

He sighed. Of course Zetsu gathered secret intel on nations but didn’t know the actual name of his sensei! “The Yellow Flash of the Leaf!”

“Hmmm.. seems he’s on a different mission!”

“Really? Damn it Minato...”

Damn it! There was no way he could be getting there in time. He would have to trust them to protect themselves for the time being. 

“Is there any way to contact him? Minato, i mean”

“Hmmmm… we’ll try, but there are no guarantees we’ll manage to track him down. He’s a tricky one, you see! He likes to move around with those kunais of his…”

There was a tense silence for a while, with the wind being the only sound Kakashi heard, besides his own footsteps every once on a while.

“Hey, Zetsu. I know this will probably sound stupid at first, but listen and you’ll understand what i mean”

“Oh?”

“I know that soon we’ll have to fight this group of anbu and jonin, but i need you to grant me control of my body while we do the fighting. You see, if i manage to team up with Obito, we’ll be able to hold them off for a while, at least until reinforcements arrive”

“The fact that i hold Obito’s sharingan makes it so that when we fight together we are much more powerful. Think about it as forseeing the other’s movements”

“Ahh, been listening to Madara’s lessons, have we?”

“Hmmm.. if i recall, you do have Hashirama’s tissue attached to you.. a whole different strength may emerge when senju and uchiha powers are combined together, but..”

Suddenly, spiral Zetsu stopped talking. He waited expectantly for him to continue, but there was no chatter. Kakashi heard an explosion not far from his location, and he stopped where he was. 

“What was that?”

“I just got word from one of my guys” More explosions were heard, and he could see huge waves of water, flying into the sky. “It seems.. that’s the location” Kakashi’s face hardened, and he innerly cursed. 

He started running again, this time much faster than before. His left eye started hurting, and he pressed his hand over it. His vision went kind of grey, and he saw.. Rin? He saw Rin… with an arm stabbing right through her chest. His arm. He was stabbing Rin. He panicked. No.. that wasn’t happening.. it was just a silly image.. right?

Somewhere inside of himself, he knew it wasn’t just a silly image. It was far more than just a silly image. 

He ignored the intrusive thoughts and kept on running.. he had to make it in time..

He kept running as fast as he could, and suddenly there weren't any trees to hop into. He felt the ground below him. He was in an open field, he had to take cover, his mind told him. Look for Obito and Rin, his heart told him. So he decided to follow his heart, the way his father before him had. 

However, despite whatever determination he may have had, it was not enough. For he wasn’t ready to witness the scene before him.

He looked up, and saw what he had refused to admit just a few seconds ago; Obito stood intact, piercing Rin through her chest with his right hand, that held a kunai bathed in blood. After a few seconds, he faintly heard the word “Ob.. i.. to..” coming from Rin’s mouth, before the following one took his hand out of her chest, in a brusque and grotesque manner.

Kakashi only watched, eyes widened and body freezed, refusing to answer his commands.

He watched as two of his closest friends ended up bathed in blood.

He watched as Obito broke his promise of not letting his comrades die, because "those who broke the rules were scum, but those who abandoned their friends were even worse than scum".

He watched as the Hidden Mist Black Ops cursed at the fail of their twisted plan. 

He watched, and felt a hot sensation bubbling up inside of him. He felt his heart in his throat. He felt sick that someone would do something like this and make him watch. 

He watched as Obito started trembling and then fell unconscious. 

He watched as the Ninjas gave each other orders to take the ‘Little girl’s body’. 

And then, he tired of watching.

“I’m in hell”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have many thoughts, so i'll just order them so my mind is at peace:
> 
> A) No, i won't create a writing schedule because i suck at those, and i'll probably end up ignoring it anyway. But i will give u a warning not to expect chapters any time soon, for your sake XD i may update tomorrow, as well as in five months.
> 
> B) I really hope i got Kakashi's character well? I couldn't help but notice as i edited the chapter, that i had written Kakashi pretty much just like Obito, which i immediately set out to fix. Hence why he doesn't react so hastily to Zetsu's warning, and actually T H I N K S things through!
> 
> C) Sorry for any mistakes! English isn't my main language and it's 1 am...
> 
> Feel free to write any suggestions, or tell me abt any mistakes u find! I'll probably edit it tomorrow when i actually get some sleep, so don't worry abt those obvious ones for now :D
> 
> Anyway, have a nice day!


	4. A curse and a blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She's dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god i've been staring at this chapter for months, but i think i've finally gotten to the place i wanted to! Mabye i'll edit it later??? Dunno, but for now have this!
> 
> Oh, and beware the angst train

He remembered… a gift.

A gift from a friend.. and..

A broken promise.

“Obito.. promise me.. you won’t let.. anyone else die... for any reason..”

“I won’t, Kakashi”

Then.. there was shouting… and then.. then there was blood. So much blood. 

And finally, he watched as the last body fell. He listened to the man inhale what he suspected were his last breaths.

They were.

\--------------------

When his consciousness returned, it was too late. There was blood and corpses everywhere. He could smell a rotten thing in the air, and he realised it was too late. He was too late. 

Reality came crashing to him. 

Rin was dead, and Obito had killed her. 

It played like a broken record.

(Rin was dead, and Obito had killed her) 

Somehow, after everything that had happened in his short life, he still managed to be surprised. Not even one coherent thought formed in his head as the scene played over and over again, and he witnessed as he did nothing to stop the inevitable from happening.

He began walking. He didn’t know where. All he knew was that he was going somewhere. 

When he finally arrived at the place, he realized where he had been trying to go: on the ground lay the unconscious body of his friend, Obito Uchiha. He was keenly aware that Rin was somewhere around that place, but the very thought of seeing her corpse again threatened to make him sick.

He knew that if he didn’t recognize her face among those of the anbu, he would never forgive himself.

So much for nothing.

His sharingan eye felt dull, taking everything in at once. It continuously reminded him of her death, and all the ones that had followed after. Of the corpses he had helped create in his fit of rage.

In the lives he’d taken as if they were his own, and ripped apart in pieces.

It was no different than before, he would have liked to tell himself. He’d gone through this all before, and yet… why did it hurt so much? Was it the fact that he’d just sat there and watched as another life crumbled in front of him, or was he just bitter? Mad?

Perhaps it was the fact that he’d failed again. He’d failed in his first mission as a leader, he’d failed to create bonds, he’d failed to see that he had been wrong… and here he was. Was this his breaking point? Where he couldn’t go forward anymore, and crumbled like the monster he was?

He would have liked to deny it, but the truth was now bare for everyone to see.

He kneeled over the sleeping figure and stared. He wondered how he’d lived the past months after Kakashi’s supposed death. Did he care? Probably. He often had let emotions take over himself, forsaking all reason behind them. Despite the fact that often times he’d been right, the Hatake couldn’t help but feel a grudge towards him. Always unbothered, without a care in the world. Always so… innocent. 

He couldn’t help but envy him.

But then again, he had changed. He could see it in his very expression as he slept in his self induced unconsciousness. He looked just like he had before, with the only difference being his headband had an extension that hid his left eye. His expression was more serious. He had eyebags under his eyes, and a noticeable frown plastered on his face despite the fact that he was asleep.

Kakashi stared at Obito. He felt an odd sensation at the corner of his left eye. He thoughtlessly cleaned it, dismissing the fact that it was a tear.

They shouldn't suffer this way. No one should.

He didn’t know how much time had passed since he had sat next to Obito. He should leave. Obito was surely gonna wake up soon, and he didn’t want to be there when it happened. In fact, he didn’t want to be anywhere near him at all. 

He had broken his promise. 

He’d failed in protecting.

And yet, weren’t promises made to be broken?

Despite being angry with him, he reasoned he couldn’t really hold the grudge towards him, especially considering the amount of promises he himself had broken.

(The ones he’d made to himself)

Even now, when Kakashi hovered over his friend Obito, he had that little sensation. That sensation he remembered well from when Sakumo died. That sensation that told him nothing would ever be the same. That told him that even if he chose to go back to Konoha with Obito, things would be different. 

Because Rin had been the one who united them. 

Rin had been part of their team, and going back meant facing the fact that he’d failed at protecting her. They’d both failed, and it would never be the same between the two of them after she was gone.

But the world wasn’t fair. It never had been, and now he had to suffer the consequences of that together with Obito. They didn’t deserve that.

She had been the bridge between them. And now, she was gone. Sweet, naive, kind Rin was gone.

She didn’t deserve this. 

Rin.. the girl who had always had a small crush on him, yet never dared say anything for fear of being rejected. The girl that had let her actions speak for themselves, who united their team and made him feel he had a reason to fight. Made him feel he actually had a family in their team. Made him feel-

He’d never considered her being the first one to die. He’d always assumed someone would die, but wishing is different than experiencing. Sure, maybe Obito would get himself killed by reacting without thinking, or maybe even him. But Rin? She was supposed to always be there for them she was supposed to remain at their side, she… 

She shouldn't have died.

He reminisced to when the moment came for the Uchiha to leave this world, and he found himself unwilling to let that happen. Back then, he was able to do something about that. He’d taken the other’s place, expecting nothing more than death… and now, he was faced with the same situation, with the key difference being his inability to take Rin’s place.

He wished he could have saved her.

This world was twisted. It liked to watch him suffer over and over, letting him get tastes of what hope felt like only to take it away seconds later.

So what was he supposed to do? Was this going to happen every time? Was he always going to end up losing everyone, left on his own to pick up the pieces?

He didn’t want to spend the rest of his life that way. He didn't want to create bonds only to lose them to the wonders of war.

Was he selfish for wishing for a happy ending for once? Was he wrong? Was this normal? If so, he didn’t want to be normal. He’d do anything just to keep the sharp pain in his chest from expanding, anything just for… that happy ending.

Gods, he was starting to sound like that Madara fellow, wasn’t he? But there was no denying his words. A world of peace… a world of love… he had to admit, the offer did sound terribly tempting, and now that he had nothing left to lose… why not?

What stopped him from taking the risk? What could he possibly lose that he hadn’t already?

“..That’s why i need you. To sever the fate of this world..”

Nothing. There was nothing left.

“...A world of only peace.. a world of only love...”

Only a desperate hopeless wish.

“...I will create such a world”

A world where no one died. 

A world with no promises.

Yes... that was a world Kakashi was willing to fight for.

\--------------------

Eventually, Kakashi stood up and left the place. He wandered through the forests aimlessly, until he unconsciously found himself going back to the cave from before. It was as if his body had moved on it’s own.

As much as he loathed the old man, he couldn’t help but be interested in the peace that Madara promised. He could only hope it hadn’t been a lie, or else he wouldn’t know what to do with himself.

When he arrived, he saw Madara still sitting in the same place as before. His expression was as indifferent as always, but the Hatake suspected he was rather pleased with himself after he seeing him enter the cavern.

“Don’t go getting any ideas, old man. Save me from your speech”

The old man gave a slight smile and chuckled. That bastard had known he would come back. Of course he had.

“Does it matter, though? You’ve come back as i said you would. There’s no need for any speech, since i believe you now understand the nature of this world”

He then stopped to gather more air, though his expression seemed a tad darker than before, and his eyes were staring at Kakashi’s very soul with an intensity he wouldn’t have believed possible from him.

“No, that’s not quite right… you’ve known the truth about this world for a long time, you just chose to ignore it. But now it’s impossible, isn’t it? You just know it’ll never be the same, no matter how hard you try”

“But now you’re here, and i have the answers you search for. You’ll eventually get the peace you search for…right now, however, you will help bring forward our plan by listening to my following words”

Despite the fact that he was selling himself to a cause that could very well go downhill from a moment to another, Kakashi found that he didn’t care. He had nothing left to lose, and that very thought put his soul at ease. 

There was no one at danger. No pressure, no sharp pain emanating from his insides.

For the first time in years, he felt truly at ease.

“Look at my eyes, Kakashi Hatake, and see what from now on will become your goal”

Kakashi did, and immediately got caught in a genjutsu. He opened his eyes to a white world. It was empty besides Madara, who was also there. He was standing, seemingly without any effort. 

Huh.

“You are inside my genjutsu now. It’s still empty, but if i put my own will into it i could create anything i wanted... However, if i utilize the strength from the statue, i can create whatever i want to a much larger… and permanent scale” As he said that, Madara raised his right hand, and suddenly, from a grey old man, he turned into a strong man who was probably in his thirties. 

Kakashi gasped “This way, we can create the ideal world with this genjutsu. After that, you would just have to bring the whole world into this false reality and it would all be over”

“No more pain, no more suffering. Just… dreams”

He hesitated for a few seconds before continuing “However, a genjutsu of that size can’t be casted with eyes alone. There must be a certain object that reflects the genjutsu so that the whole world can see it at once, and that is where the Eye of the Moon plan comes in”

“Elaborate further”

Kakashi's confusion only lasted for a few minutes. Madara explained to him the whole plan. He explained his involvement with the juubi, and how white Zetsu was just a clone of the deceased Senju Hashirama. He also showed him his rinnegan, and said the only way to unlock it was to have both uchiha and senju powers alike.

Suddenly, Kakashi was taken away from the genjutsu, and opened his eyes to an old Madara Uchiha, with bags under his eyes and white hair that in a way was similar to Kakashi’s very own.

“Of course, you already have half your body made of Hashirama’s cells, so even if you can’t unlock the rinnegan, you should at least be able to control the statue, deeming most of our efforts useful”

Madara raised his left hand and touched white Zetsu’s shoulder, turning half of his body into a black version of himself. 

“Consider this half of myself, and upon any doubts that you might have, rely upon him to answer your questions. I can't promise it will be easy, but i’m sure the end results will be satisfactory enough for your own liking”

As he said that, began walking from his current spot, trying to break the white tubes that connected his ancient body to the gedo statue. After a few seconds they broke, and Madara’s face turned white as he tried to breathe. He walked towards his wooden chair, and sat on it, gasping for breath in what seemed to be his very last moments of life.

Kakashi couldn’t say he would miss him.

The Hatake turned his back on Madara, and began walking towards the cave entrance, eager to taste true freedom for the first time in what felt like decades.

“Leave. Leave this place and forge your path… and until i am back, you will be…”

The man gasped yet again, fighting between ending his own life, and saying his last words. Eventually, the latter option won, and the man managed to share the last of his knowledge before passing away.

“Madara Uchiha” 

The words were a blessing and a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ncjwjcbsjdh okokok, soooo... this was hard, and i'm not even sure i managed to get Kakashi's character perfectly well, but oh well. I kind of like this version??? So??? Also, this was FUN to write so i'll probably start writing next chap in a few minutes😂😂
> 
> (Also i was gonna put major character death and then i remembered Rin actually does die in canon and now i'm sad shwjdbj)


	5. Interlude: One eyed guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha angst go brr
> 
> Well, this chapter... I have mixed feelings on this chapter, tbh. On one hand i sort of like it, and on the other i'm not convinced. But it's been sitting on my docs for too long- and i don't think i'll ever make up my mind about it so here it goes! If i ever feel like changing smthing i can always just edit it, so...
> 
> Btw, go on, enjoy the chapter!

Obito heard voices. Many voices around him. Some were familiar, others not. Most sounded worried. He was moving, or rather.. Someone was moving him. He tried moving his limbs, but managed nothing, so he mindlessly gave up.

His thoughts were incoherent, moving from one subject to another in less than a few seconds. He wished he could just bask in emptiness, that he was asleep. The name “Rin” resonated over and over again, but he couldn’t figure out why.

He fell asleep again. 

\--------------------

This time he recognized the voices. He listened to Kushina’s worried remarks, and Minato’s hushed comments every once in a while. He wanted to keep sleeping, but his body blatantly refused to comply. But he didn’t want to wake up. Not yet, at least. He wasn’t ready.

So he waited until the voices were gone. Until there was no light. The Uchiha opened his eyes, hit with a sudden determination to find out what was going on. The first thing he noticed was he white room he was in. Of course, it didn’t take him long to realise he was in a hospital, since the white walls were simply all too familiar to him.

He could never forget them.

The curtains waved over the window’s frames, driven back and forth by the gentle wind of the night. A crescent light barely filled the place, and Obito found himself staring at the stars in the dark blanket that was the darkened sky. 

He found himself contemplating the events that had taken place on his last mission. He felt nothing. Only a hole-like emptiness in his stomach. He knew, god he knew, it would come eventually. He knew he would feel the pain there, as if he had been stabbed in the stomach with a sharp blade… he knew it would come back sooner or later, and he feared the moment when it resurfaced again.

He feared the moment when he felt that sharp pain in his stomach and felt as though it had just happened, as if he was still there with her blood in his hands. As if he was still the same innocent person from before, experiencing pain for the first time-

He let out a sob. He grabbed his shirt with one of his hands, in hopes that it would stop the pain from emerging, but he couldn’t. God knows he couldn’t. He felt the tears finally go free, and he closed his eyes so that he didn’t have to see the room’s blurry outline. His whole body shaked with the newly acquired pain, and he let out another sob.

His voice was hoarse, considering he was unconscious for quite a few days. He knew this because of the wimpers he let out as his body trembled in panic. He stayed like that for a while, letting it all go, and thinking about her.

Rin.

Gods, she didn’t deserve this.

He somehow found the strength to let out a chuckle despite the pain, despite the tears. How innocent, how dumb he had been by thinking it would be fine. By thinking she would love him, by thinking he could save Kakashi.

And now it was his fault.

He had killed her, and as he stared at his hands, he saw her blood. He saw her red blood, red as her blushing face when Kakashi said something to her, red as his sharingan, red as… a rose. 

Red as the blood on his hands.

He suddenly heard something to his left. He turned his head to see a familiar figure- Minato.

“Obito! You’re finally awake!”

He voicelessly stared at the older man, waiting silently for something to happen. For Minato to tell him it was fine, that Rin wasn’t dead and that Kakashi was waiting for them outside.

For someone to wake him up from this nightmare.

Minato did none of those things. He quickly made his way to where Obito was and sat on the bed next to him, remaining silent for a while. And yet… the Uchiha just couldn’t help himself. He let out a muffled sob, trying to stop the tears from pouring from his eyes, and soon he found himself in an embrace with his sensei.

(He flinched upon entering contact with the other)

By then, he simply gave up on the prospect of calmness. He let it all go, and hugged the other tightly, as if his life depended on it. In a way, it did. 

For a while all they did was embrace each other, and Obito wasn’t stopping any time soon. It felt weird, but at the same time comforting. He wouldn’t deny that he had always been a very touchy person. And yet, upon hugging the other...

He couldn’t help but see red.

It took a while, but eventually his heart stopped racing, and the tears stopped pouring. Instead, he was left as he was before. Empty. Hollow. The pain from before was all but a faint memory in his stomach, and he suddenly felt cold. He shouldn’t feel like this.

He was supposed to feel better.

“Obito i’m… i’m sorry i wasn’t there on time”

He didn’t say anything in response, simply choosing to stare off into the other wall opposite to where he was currently sitting down. They remained with their arms embracing each other, but he no longer held into the other with the death grip from before.

Because as much as he looked up to him, he couldn’t lie.

He wouldn’t lie.

Phrases such as “it’s fine” or “i forgive you” simply wouldn’t make up for it. So he remained silent, trying his best to not look or sound indignant. Because in reality, he was. He was so mad at him for not arriving in time, for not saving Kakashi, for not stopping him, for not being there when he was needed...

As much as he looked up to him, he was also mad. 

He was so mad.

But he was too tired to do anything about it, and soon found himself drifting between opening his eyes and fading towards unconsciousness, and he shamelessly went towards the latter in the few seconds he had left.

\--------------------

Recently, he found himself going to the memorial stone a lot.

It’s not that he didn’t go there before, but let’s just say now he felt like a lot more necessary than it did during his time as a genin. Ever since his past rival’s name had been carved in that stone, it had been a recurring place for him and Rin to meet up. They didn’t really speak about him, they just… visited the place.

Sometimes they would spar together. Sometimes they’d simply have a picnic. It didn’t really matter what they did, what mattered was that they were there. What mattered was that they were honouring their past teammate in the only way they could think of.

It’s not like it was any different, really.

But now he was alone.

And yet, the implications were huge.

He stood still, staring at Rin’s name in the stone, luckily near Kakashi’s. Minato hadn’t found her corpse among the others, and between the panic of having him die together with her, his sensei simply left to Konoha with his unconscious body, leaving Rin’s body together with the ones of the Anbu who had been responsible for the whole situation.

By the time they went back to see if she was still there, most of the corpses were nothing but a shadow of their former selves, and Rin’s body was nowhere among those. Honestly, he wasn’t sure he would have managed if he’d been forced to see her face, bearing the same expression from when he stabbed her. He was somewhat relieved, in fact.

(Another thing to hate himself for.)

He remembered Rin telling him not to hate himself. A few times when they met, some comments slipped and he found himself witness to her reprimanding stare. “It wasn’t your fault”, “There is nothing you could have done about it” were the words she had often used to try and free him from the gnawing guilt that often filled him.

Obito knew he couldn’t have done anything about it. He tripped, and it was so fast that the only person that could do something about it was Kakashi. But gods, he wasn’t fast enough. He wasn’t fast enough to think of an actual solution, he wasn’t fast enough to think of something else than sacrificing his own life for his sake.

Gods, he should be grateful. He’d told that to himself a thousand times- he’d told himself enough times that he needed to stop thinking about that day where everything simply went downhill. 

But it was just so hard when he felt his missing eye.

It’s not that he hadn’t tried. Some days he’d tried acting the way he always did before- so carefree and innocent. And yet, everyone knew that something was off. Something was different. He lost countless nights trying to find the missing ingredient, the thing he was failing at so miserably. Why couldn’t things be like before? Why did he have these intrusive thoughts? Why did he see His body all the time, why did he feel the weight on his left eye so much?

Questions he’d never get to answer.

Because they didn’t really matter now, did they? Now there were too many ways to answer those questions, and it made him shudder to think that just a few months ago he had never even considered something like this. It was crazy. How he’d changed in the past few months. Of course, whether it was for better or worse was not for him to decide, but he had a faint suspicion that wouldn’t leave him alone despite whatever he did to try and appease his dark thoughts.

He was mad.

And as he closed his eyes and let the tears go free, he wished it could have gone differently.

He wished he had died in Kakashi’s place.

Then maybe he would have been able to do something different.

He wouldn’t have had to be forced to stare as his best friend went and died to a boulder, or his crush be stabbed by none other than himself.

Perhaps he could have saved Rin.

If only.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that was the chapter! I feel like rather than be sad, Obito would be kinda pissed off?? Y'know? Like- when Rin dies in canon, instead of mourning or smthing like that he just commits genocide and decides to end the world 😂😂, which makes me think that he is an impulsive little shit, and also an angrier person when facing inner or outer conflict.
> 
> Which... You know, i did mention that he was pissed off, but he was mostly just mourning tbh. Frankly, i believe that he would just become a much more reserved person, bcs he fears losing another friend because of his brashness. In both moments, his teammates die because he does an impulsive decision or act, and pays the consecuence with their lives.
> 
> Lol the last five chapters have all straight up been angst, i just can't write anything else apparently😂😂 Should i add anything else to balance it though? Like- when i first thought of the story i just imagened it serious going for angst, but oh boi there's too much angst in here😂 If anyone has any suggestions leave a comment down below!
> 
> So those are my thoughts! Might come and add something later, but for now that's it! Hope you enjoyed my dose of angst!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! This is my first time posting a series, so im quite nervous! Tell me what you think :)
> 
> Also, the number of chapters is not 15, that's just approximatedly how many chapters i think there will be, so it might change!


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